Archive for March, 2007

Life Search

{ March 27, 2007 @ 12:08 am } · { Uncategorized }
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I could have titled it “Job Search” but I think that I am perpetually looking for a job. Always looking and waiting for something better to come along. Looking for more….more…more… the more monster is what I believe destroys the moment. I am constantly working towards something bigger and better. Never satisfied with what I have right now. I am sure that is not all bad :) It drives me to make decisions that I would normally never make. It motivates me to do something with my life and take action. It also can make me forget to appreciate all that I have right now. What am I waiting for. Is there ever a point when you see that life has pasted you by and there isn’t much to show for it?

The other job that I have is for a company called Advanced Restoration Systems or ARS. It is a restoration and mitigation company for fire, flood, mold and anything that your home owners insurance will pay for.  My dad got involved in this about a year ago, and asked me to put together some friends to be a clean up crew. Well, now my friends are the core to this basic construction and demolition crew that I have been working full time with for about six months. It can create some unneeded drama when working in a field with some extremely chauvinistic views and girls that are all strong willed and stubborn. We fight and get put down,  we out work the men but fight like sisters. To top it all off, we are running out of work. My Dad is talking about going up to Idaho to create a better company with less competition, and that means no more work for us.

I still have Papa John’s to fall back on but we all know how much that excited me. mmmmm so the only option I have is to start looking for another job..

I am sure that with all my experience it won’t be that hard for me to find another job, however I have a past now that can create a lot of problems. I also go to school at night during the week, so that has to be taken into consideration. Not to mention the fact that non of my experience is in the same field or general area. I have had allot of interesting jobs and I learn very quickly, but my experience is random…. What kind of job would I get?????

I have so much experience in retail, but besides the fact that they don’t make much money, who would hire me now?? Being in recovery lets me move away from the destruction of my past, but it does not erase the things that I have done. Who knows if I will ever truly be able to put my past behind me. All I know is that I am the person that I was supposed to be….now. I will let the past work itself out and just keep moving forward.

I do have a lot of experience with clerical and administrative positions. I know that I will find something that will suit me. :) Until then I working like a good girl should…. :) In construction.

Fragmented

{ March 18, 2007 @ 7:13 am } · { Panda }
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Well life seems to be the same for me. My circumstances and life can outwardly seem very different than anything in my past, but its all the same. I am the same. There is so much uncertainty in this life! You have to rely on hope and faith to even give yourself a reason to go on. I keep telling Laura…”Just don’t give up”  Don’t give up on anything. I get discouraged some times because I say it so much to everyone else, but what happens when I want to give up???? I don’t ever really want to of coarse!! I have worked to hard to get to the simple point that I am at now. My life is really rather simple. It is busy, but who isn’t busy being broke?? “:) I am trying to find a better place for my self in the workforce at the moment. Right now I basically am dabbling in three different jobs, but you can imagin how much real attention that provides to any of them. I still have the title of Local Store Marketing Rep for Papa John’s here is Utah, however I have basically decided that I hate that job. Every one says I am so good at it, but I don’t agree. I don’t ever feel like what I am doing is worth being paid for. I feel like there was no way to tangibly tell if my marketing is actually bringing in sales. I just hate the job, and I am trying to pretend like I am still there even though I hardly work. I can’t seem to just quit. It is probably fear that keeps me hanging on to a job that really doesn’t work for me.

Well I can see how this can be theraputic :)   I don’t know if anyone will be able to understand anything I ever write, but I am going to keep writting. I am keeping my poor wife up late so I can sit and play on the computer, so I will continue this fragmented view of life another time.

Until then remember……life is what you make of it. So make something different for yourself. 

Hello world!

{ March 7, 2007 @ 9:20 pm } · { Panda }
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Well I am going to give this a try. I like the idea of basically an online journal although I wouldn’t be sure why anyone would want to read it. It is exciting to be that some much information about people can be found here. To know how my friends feel on a day to day basis, even though they live out of state!! Saves the long distance bill for sure.

I will attempt to keep up on this and allow my writting skills to inprove as I spill my guts all the time. :)

Wish me luck.