So I have decided that in order to get back to the writer inside me I need to start posting on this blog as often as posible. I can’t worry if I have nothing to say or even if I really want to or not. I want to start writing and reaching for that part of me that has always made me happy. I don’t seem to understand myself very much. I strive to do the next right thing and keep my head above water and yet all the things that I know are special to me get pushed to the side. The priority level is so low. Its like I spin my wheels so much that I never seem to remember what I am about.
I am excited to see my son open his presents tomorrow morning and I have been listening to Christmas music all day, just trying to get in the mood. I am so tired and sore from digging my car out yesterday that all I really want is to is sleep. We have a half hour before we have to leave and go to my parents house for dinner and it still doesn’t even feel like Christmas Eve.
I suppose I wonder if I should have done more this year. Besides a serious lack of planning and preparing for the holidays I haven’t done anything for the spirit of the season. No giving to help people or even involved in C.A. which I usually am. I think that in some strange way that if I had done more of that then I wouldn’t have a bah humbug attitude. LOL I don’t know I am just spinning my wheels again and trying to create a habitof writing.
Happy Christmas Eve and I hope that all out there have a beautiful Christmas.
